


Twelve

by notjustmom



Series: Mirrors [12]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Established Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, M/M, love letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 04:27:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11372568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/pseuds/notjustmom
Summary: John's letter to Sherlock





	Twelve

Sherlock -

So many times I've tried to write down the ways you amaze me, I've spent years detailing your gifts to a mostly admiring world; and yet, I find it surprisingly difficult to clearly communicate to you all that you mean to me. At the moment, you are pacing in front of yet another case, muttering to yourself as you do. Sometimes it seems you are speaking to me, explaining how you think through the myriad of seemingly disparate facts to come up with your inevitable brilliant conclusion. I want to lay my laptop aside and walk until I am standing behind you, then wrap my arms around you and feel your heart beat under my fingers as you lean back into me. There are moments when I recall those days - no - I promised myself I would never go there - there is no point, you are here, I am here, I know, I know you didn't leave me because it was what you wanted to do, I know you had no choice, I just wish I could have been by your side, save you some of the pain you suffered, you didn't deserve to face all of that alone.

"Damn."

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

Sherlock turned from the wall and looked at his partner and sighed. "It's all quite obvious, I just had to reorganize the evidence - You are thinking of when I wasn't here. Yes, yes, you are." He sighed and walked over to John who had buried his face in his hands. He knelt in front of him and bowed his head. "You know, if I could have safely taken you with me, I would have, but I honestly didn't know what would happen on the roof. I should have calculated what his end game would be, he was always daring me to kill him, he - he believed I was - I was a sparring partner, he saw me as his equal, except he believed he had the advantage because - because he didn't have anyone he would give his life for - and I -"

John sat up and laid a hand gently into Sherlock's curls, a bit tangled from the detective running his fingers through them as he had worked through the bits of his latest puzzle. "Shhh. I would for you too, you know that, don't you?"

Sherlock shook his head and blew out a long breath. "Don't ever say that - I don't - don't you know, John - I knew you could survive without me, I always knew you were stronger. I don't think - no, I know - if you ever gave up your life for me -"

John smiled a bit sadly at him and whispered, "Do you think we could just decide, maybe, to live for the other?"

Sherlock looked up at him, and John saw the years they had shared in his eyes, reflected in the ever changing colours, their brightness as yet, not dulled by time. "How well, how perfectly well you know me, John. I still wonder what it was I did to deserve you."

John reached out and wiped away the single tear that was traveling down Sherlock's still too sharp cheekbone, then shrugged. "I think that is something best to the philosophers, my heart. Now that you have solved that mess up on the wall - will you come to bed and I will try to tell you all the ways I love you?"


End file.
